YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
