Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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