I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
