I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
