I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
