I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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