I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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