It's like a parade of train wrecks.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
