i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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