someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
