"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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