1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
