At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize