I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
