you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
