My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
