I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
