He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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