Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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