help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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