Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream