You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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