JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"