I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
