so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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