just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
