just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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