K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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