I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
where does the pee come out of this thing
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
