@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
