I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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