Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
