I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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