I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
