it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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