i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize