Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
