I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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