I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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