He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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