and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
