every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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