This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
