At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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