drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You've changed since you got that strap on
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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