I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
