Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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