the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Boobs speak an international language.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
