Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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