He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
