I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Pants are for mortals
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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