So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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