Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
