Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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