i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
