Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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